Bizlife Smarts

As we progress through life, hopefully we learn a thing or two along the way. Hopefully we can absorb life’s lessons in a way that not only makes us successful, but happy!

Biz

1. Only plan on early retirement if you are comfortable with the probability a decline in standard of living and increased chances of addiction and/or an early death.

It is not called retirement planning for nothing. There is a delicate balance of variables that should determine the age at which you choose to retire.

2. You need to perfect your career calling (not passion) before you turn 25. From there immediately dedicate yourself to becoming an expert and the leader in your field.

The most successful people in this world who immediately come to mind as early achievers were either child or teen prodigies in their field. Why would you be any different? – Because very few of us are child/ teen prodigies, so we have to try and discover our calling early, and work on it.

 Learning, making mistakes and perfecting your trade/craft at as early an age as possible positions you to spend the rest of your career excelling.

3. If you become boxed-in as one dimensional, become the best at that skill but only preserve it as a back-up. Immediately work to build other skills and reinvent yourself; because one-dimensionalism is a horse you can’t ride very far.

There is nothing wrong with being one dimensional; if you want a mediocre career and to forever take orders from other people. You can earn a very honest, long living being mediocre. However, if you wish to reach the top, your proficiency in one area needs to be a platform to build your expertise in other areas.

4. Make sure that you are loved in the workplace, not because you are popular, but because your colleagues know that they can always depend on you.

The “cult of personality” popularity game ended in high school. Understand what dependability means in the organization you are a member of. It ranges from being easy to work with or being a peer counselor, to being willing to do the dirty work, to always delivering what you commit to.

5. Avoid the mindset of “I don’t play company politics”. You have to…just play it with integrity.

If you’re not at the table, then you could be on the menu – Probably Education Activist Pat Rusk and not Elizabeth Warren as many people inadvertently attribute it to.

If you are not playing to the company culture, the style of the powers that be or have someone providing air cover for you from above bombardment, you won’t go far or last long in that organization.

6. Never rise up alone within an organization. Be loyal and deliver for those above you, support those below you and build allies amongst those on your level – at all times.

Success in the corporate world is like going to war. Prepare yourself accordingly.

7. Always hold back any indication of your opposition/ resistance to a proposal or idea unless and until it is absolutely necessary.

Refer to pt. 36 under ‘Bizlife’. The serenity prayer is emblematic of this – be able to accept the things that you cannot change. Raising objections to faîtes accomplit, simply tags you as a resistor. Preserve your objections for when it really matters…or let someone else raise the objection before you have to.

8. Always be flexible and open to changing your viewpoint, strategy or plans if a better idea comes along.

The corporate graveyard is full of brands that lost their way, companies that didn’t evolve with the times, doomed captains of industry who refused to listen to alternate opinions, corporate culture that became so inbred it led to decline and executives who became dinosaurs.

9. Work at being a good public speaker. It will make you a star.

Compelling public speaking enables you to move from capturing people’s minds to capturing their hearts.

10. Perfect brevity; but be engaging when loquacious.

If you don’t capture someone’s attention in the first minute, their eyes begin to gloss over. Once you capture them they want to hear more, or at the very least they will be ready to hear your more elaborate explanations.

11. If you don’t have discipline, then cover it up by excelling at every instance when it is important/ imperative to do so.

Most self-help advice and write-ups talk about discipline. But the reality of life is that not all of us are that diligent or disciplined. Trying to live up to something you can’t achieve, sets you up for a letdown the minute you fail to meet expectations. Just like a top tier athlete who picks his/her spots to catch their breath in a game only to score when it is most needed; if you lack the consistency of discipline, focus on the most important moments to apply yourself to the full.

12. Always be coachable and willing to learn. In this way many less talented have excelled and highly talented have become great.

The greatest lessons and skills are learned from others and particularly the more experienced. It is the most effective way to develop yourself. Even as a superior talent, you can only become the best by learning from others; and there is nothing more obnoxious and a waste of time than a no-talent, know-it-all who doesn’t take instruction well.

13. If you’re not a doer, be an advisor; if you’re not an advisor, be an administrator.

A successful production is not made by everybody being on stage. Sometimes, the director or supporting specialist crew are the key to a masterpiece. The main actor would have been nothing without them.

Life

14. You can only thrive in life once you find happiness and peace within yourself – don’t try using one facet of life to compensate for another.

We are all in pursuit of happiness, yet most of us find it elusive. If it isn’t our job, it’s our pay; if it isn’t our pay, it’s too many commitments; if it’s isn’t commitments, it’s our spouse; if it isn’t our spouse, it’s our family; if it isn’t our family it’s society. Once you find your spiritual (not necessarily religious) peace, the rest will all work itself out.

15. If you want to be eternally happy, always be emotionally honest, dedicate yourself to those you love and commit to them completely, no matter what!

When we manipulate others’ emotions for our own benefit, we may initially get the result we desire, but it gradually builds a wellspring of mistrust when things don’t add up. A lack of emotional honesty may have the upside of getting you what you want, but it also has an even bigger downside of the fallout, bitterness and resentment when other people figure out your manipulations.

16. When you give personal advice or comment, ask yourself, “Am I saying this for my selfish benefit, or for the benefit of the person I’m saying it to?” – This will build your relationships and make you a valued friend/ partner.

We often say things for our own satisfaction and then regret the way it comes out or rue how it has been received. When taken in concert with points nos. 7 and 32 this enables you to give advice in a way that minimizes your selfish interest and makes you a more trusted friend and advisor.

17. There is no such thing as unconditional love.

Like it or not, love is a two-way street. For it to thrive, you both have accountability and things you must focus on and dedicate yourself to, in order to sustain that love.

18. Living alone leads to insanity.

It is easy for people to desire privacy or to be alone in an environment that they have absolute control over. Human beings are however social beings and thus need family and community to thrive. Depriving oneself of these, even where one believes it’s a desire for privacy, inclines one to gradually develop anti-social behaviours.

19. The oft-used ‘trust but verify’ is always essential.

Trust is absolutely essential for every successful relationship. However, there is no excuse for superimposing trust on ignorance. Give everyone your respect from the outset, but only give them your trust once you have an objective basis for them to hold that trust.

20. Take the cliché “life’s too short” seriously.

You’re never too young, there’s never enough time to put things off, there are always other priorities, there’s always something standing in the way; and on and on….

These are all excuses. Make time now for the things that matter to you, pursue the things that bring you joy and let go of the baggage that drags you down and holds you back. Positivity crowds out and leaves no room for negativity.

21. Never be intoxicated in public; even at a party or any celebration.

Excess and living on the edge are fun, but short-lived. Restraint and moderation are for longevity and the long-haul. Nobody ever thinks the same of you once they see you lose your faculties.

22. Your worst fears rarely come to pass; and if they do, be pragmatic in addressing their real root cause. It is usually driven by your dark secrets.

Secrets are soul destroying. They chase us through the shadows and keep us looking over our shoulder in fear. Just like when you were a kid, this fear makes us conjure up monsters in the dark that are not real. Rather than live with fear, confront and resolve your dark secrets.

23. Go for counselling the first time somebody or you yourself think you need it.

Everyone battles with emotional issues to some degree. Many of us also battle with psychological challenges. Bottling these in is like a pressure cooker that can only be released by talking to a trusted person. There is no stigma in talking to somebody about the issues you are battling with. When somebody you care about, or you yourself, realise that you cannot find that in those around you, go for professional counseling.

24. Your bed is only for sleeping in and/ or making love; never lie-in once you are awake.

Lying in bed once you are awake is a bad habit that only gets worse if not nipped in the bud. It encourages sloth. The only exception is to make love – which is the most universal playing field for that activity, and hopefully leads you both to better sleep.

25. So long as you are of good character, always be yourself, no matter what anyone thinks of you.

Think of the greatest people in history. Few were conformists. Those we admire the most were not only unique beings, but people of good character. Guard your character jealously, but don’t try and be what you are not, because it will eventually be a betrayal against your good character and diminish you in other people’s eyes.

26. Timing IS everything.

We often miss the best opportunity to say something or make a move by speaking or acting too soon – we haven’t heard the full sentence; we jump to conclusions without all the right facts; we haven’t properly assessed the situation, but we speak or act nonetheless.

Perfect timing is a strange thing. You feel it in your bones. As you engage in a conversation or engage in a certain enterprise, have the patience to hold back until you have the information you need in hand, then once all variables are just right, then speak or act.

27. People dislike, or eventually tire of, excessively loud people.

Don’t be fooled, people may initially be amused by one’s loud antics, but you are quickly categorized as boorish, uncouth and simply irritating. The life of the party can only be tolerated in small doses.

Loudness suggests a lack of the qualities of restraint, discipline and self-control.

BizLife

28. Know when to be Kind and when to be Right – Learn to wield emotional intelligence and prudence.

Be careful which clichés and platitudes you listen to, which quotes you quote and never quote the Bible or Koran to justify anything. Ensure you understand them if you are going to use them to guide you. The fact that the word ‘ sometimes’ is usually omitted from adage “It is better to be kind, than to be right”, completely changes it’s meaning.

There is a time to be right and a time to be kind – know the difference so that you treat those around you with respect, while still guarding your integrity.

29. Listen to what your enemies say about you – it is usually based on the achilles heel of your flaw(s) in character.

Saying, “it’s sour grapes”, “they are haters” and all is easy when people who have malice for you attack you. However, you need to do some self-analysis on your character and behavior to make sure that nobody ever has a basis on which they can build a malicious attack against you. Be above reproach!

When it does happen, immediately address your character flaw that enabled that attack to prevent it from snowballing or other “haters” piling in like accelerants.

30. Never make a key decision without getting a trusted dissenting opinion. If you then go against that opinion, be clear that you will be able to accept the consequences if that dissenting opinion turns out to be true.

The whole purpose of wise counsel is to enable you to see both sides of the big picture. If you continually make unilateral decisions or ignore dissenting opinions, you have only yourself to blame.

A man/woman without dissenting opinions around him/her is surrounded by sycophants who will follow you to your doom, only to watch you leap off the cliff’s edge on your own.

31. Always sleep on important documents and decisions for at least one night before finalizing them.

Revisiting things with a fresh mind and fresh viewpoint always presents a different and clearer perspective. It also prevents you from making rash decisions “in the moment”.

You’ll be surprised how often you’ll re-read something the next day and think, ‘did I really write that?!’. Or, how often on the next day you think, ‘Was I really about to do that?’ or find that circumstances have changed thus negating the decision you would have made.

32. Nobody ever suffocated from taking a deep breath.

It prevents words coming out of your mouth and also clears up your ear canals, calms you and allows you to listen.

33. Never half-ass anything, no matter how good you believe the reason to be; it will come back to bite you.

Those who give maximum effort, no matter the adversity or less than ideal circumstances are always valued. Commitment is palpable to others. You may feel that you are justified for a lack of commitment due to factors outside of yourself, however, that justification never holds water to others.

Even if your rationale for the lack of commitment makes sense, it will always be used against you to weaken your position.

34. Never put on a brave face for something you neither have a passion for, nor will ever be good at; It will drive you to depression, desperation or death.

Putting on a brave face simply masks your feelings. The feelings that you mask on the outside, will eat you up inside.

You are better off facing up to the reality before you do harm to your psyche or become a dark cloud over those around you.

35. The minute someone is non-responsive to you, in your personal or business life, your relationship is already doomed.

Emotional honesty and emotional intelligence come together in the dynamics between you and those close to you, both in your personal and professional lives, to maintain open communication and healthy relationships.

Do not misinterpret people’s non-responsive to you as being their attitude, but know it to be you having lost them. They have given up on you to some degree and feel it is not worthwhile engaging with you on your terms.

36. Learn early on: “It’s not my fight!”.

In private life, our passions will often drive us to take sides in any conflict. In our professional lives others’ interests or pressure will do the same.

In both, always ask yourself whether you are a protagonist, an aide, a surrogate, a spectator or the grass – if you’re any of the latter three, it’s not your fight, so know to either remain neutral or stay out of it. If not, you’ll be as expendable as cannon fodder and quickly become a casualty.

37. There is never going to be a perfect job, company or spouse.

The healthiest, happiest people in the world are those who take comfort with, “this is good enough for me for now”. Those who are always looking for something better not only never achieve satisfaction, but they don’t engender trust in others, as their “looking beyond” is evident to all.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be ambitious in your professional life. However, only pursue moving up (not on) when the time is right. In your personal life, accept those you love for who they are, or prepare to be a serial divorcee or philanderer.

38. Always have an opinion; just not an obnoxious one – you’ll go far.

People like to engage with those with whom there can be a healthy discourse. Someone who is a solid wall, empty bucket or a corpse will always be stuck on the fringe or outright rejected. In private life, this is linked to point no. 16. In professional life, you are there to add value or be relegated to a rut, at best, and the scrap heap, at worst.

39. When you think people are looking at you with disapproval, rethink how you are going about your life.

An African saying goes  – “What stupid you doin’ that you think people no look at you like idiot dat?!”

People will throw you strange looks either when you have done something against acceptable norms or what others don’t approve of, while you thought they weren’t taking note or powerless to affect the results of your actions. Hold high character in everything you do and you’ll never have to experience social disdain.

40. Develop a passion outside of your work life and pursue and guard it every day, jealously and with utmost zeal.

Whereas a strong work ethic is admirable, there is more to a life well lived than simply your job. Happiness and wealth by are not necessarily positively correlated. With success, you must preserve your positive socialization and your generosity of self, spirit and time. When you are no longer able to work and are on your death bed, the things that you achieved above and beyond your work are what will have stayed with you and live on in memory of you.